


Flawed Design

by i am only revolutions (onashtreelane), sarisel



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Horror, Gen, Heavy Angst, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 03:31:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onashtreelane/pseuds/i%20am%20only%20revolutions, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarisel/pseuds/sarisel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not all gifts are graciously accepted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hitting Ground

****

I  
Hitting Ground

 

I narrowed my eyes, straining to see. The waist-thick branches of the trees all around me were nothing but silhouettes in the thin moonlight, the canopy above so dense that it might have been a dome of filigreed durasteel. Somewhere close by, leaves shifted. I could only hope it was Obi-Wan.

I pressed against the trunk of the tree I clung to, just in case it was another of those... things. In all my travels, I'd seen a lot of non-humanoid beings, but these were nearly impossible to look at. Not that I really _could_ get a look at them. Something about the sight of them made my mind rebel. Still, when they fixed their three red eyes on me, all they saw was dinner. I was convinced of it.

"Master, is that you?" I shouted over the rustle of leaves.

Obi-Wan grunted. It sounded like he was throwing rocks down at the things, though I had no clue where he'd found the stones. Was he calling them up from the ground?

This whole situation was my fault. My Master had tried to warn me about the turning radius of our new Fighters, but I hadn't listened. When I crashed on this gods' forsaken planet, Obi-Wan descended to give me a hand as any teacher would and lost control of his fighter, too. So much for 'teacher knows best.' We ended up in two different trees, with a half dozen of these creatures constantly circling. They never left the two of us alone.

"They have to sleep sometime," I called out.

"So do we!"

I could easily hear the frustration in his voice. Not just frustration, but exhaustion. Each time I inhaled, I smelled blood. He wouldn't tell me, but I was sure that he'd been injured in his crash. Holding on to a tree was starting to get the better of him.

There was a loud thud, and Obi-Wan cried out in the inky night. Immediately I was on my feet, reaching through the Force for him. With a second crash, I sensed it: one of the creatures was battering his tree, Obi-Wan hanging on for dear life.

Beneath Obi-Wan's, the monster's Force signature swelled and shrank. If only I could just... I imagined fingers wrapping around this silent pulse and squeezed. Hard. Something inside of the creature _popped_. Instantly the battering stopped and the beast fell to the ground. I sank back into my tree, retching in my throat. The sound of ripping flesh was unmistakable. Even though I couldn't see it through the black of the night, I knew the other monsters were feeding, tearing their fallen comrade apart.

Through our bond, I spoke to him. _Are you all right?_

 _Never been better._ The sarcasm dripped from his thoughts.

Within moments, the battering at Obi-Wan's tree began again. The blood of their brother had not been enough, not when My Master's still dripped. Without thinking, I reached again and again, squeezing as hard as I could until there was no more noise. The forest floor was finally quiet.

I sagged against the tree, almost toppling. I hadn't realized that killing them that way would take so much out of me too.

 

+++

 

The sun rose slowly, peeking through the leaves above. I blinked groggily, coming awake.

"Oh gods," Obi-Wan's choked, his voice carried by the wind. A hand covered his mouth as he peered down at the ground below.

Entrails hung on every one of the lowest branches. Dark red blood pooled in the sunlight, flies buzzing about its surface, happy for the treat.

I took what felt like years to climb down. At last I leaned hard against the tree that had been my home, willing it to hold me up. Obi-Wan came to my side, his movements stilted and his eyes full of shadows.

"What have you done?" he whispered so softly that I almost missed it.

"Saved your life!" I barked. "Saved us," I added, quieter this time.

Obi-Wan sucked air between his teeth. He clutched at his side, fingers splayed over a growing rust-colored stain. I reached out to help steady him, and he jerked himself away.

"Don't touch me. I'm fine," he gasped, clearly anything but.

I reached again, and he actually stumbled back to avoid my touch. "You're wounded, let me..."

"I said don't!" he coughed, gripping his side. He put his other hand up to stop me.

My cheeks burned, every ounce of pride I might have felt draining out of me. He had only raised a hand to keep me in my place, but why did I feel like I'd been slapped?


	2. Of Action

II  
 **Of Action**  


I pulled my comforter higher, tucking it beneath my chin. We'd been off that terrible planet for nearly a week, but sleeping hadn't gotten any easier. Each time I turned off the lamps, the sounds of those monsters ripping themselves apart echoed in my skull. And the images... I'd taken to resting with a wastebasket beside my bed, just in case. My body seemed intent on purging the pictures from my mind through my stomach.

I kicked my covers onto the floor and sat up, frustrated. All the blankets on Coruscant wouldn't have stopped my shivering. A dim glow spilled across my carpet, leaking from beneath the door that led to the shared fresher that joined my room to Obi-Wan's. My mouth twisted. He hated when I left that light on, called it a waste of resources. When I mentioned his hour-long baths in return, he told me to go meditate.

I frowned. At this point, I almost wanted to hear him complain. Out of my last five saber practices, he had attended one. I'd eaten each of my dinners alone. Council meetings, another Master needing his assistance--over the last week I had heard every excuse he could think of, but I knew the cold shoulder when I got it.

Slouching, I made my way to the bathroom door. Some noise--the faintest murmur of words from within--lifted my hand from the entry button. I cocked my head. I knew I shouldn't have eavesdropped, but I couldn't help myself. A late night meeting was one thing, but a late night _bathroom_ meeting?

Water splashed, as if Obi-Wan had brought down his fist in frustration. His voice deepened, grew faster, but I still couldn't make out what he was saying. I pressed my ear to the door. 

"I just don't think I can do this--" 

Was he on his communicator? Screwing my eyes shut, I reached through the Force and brushed against the whorl of Obi-Wan's mind, jerking back almost instantly. It was enough. Another set of thoughts rippled faintly over the background pattern of the room. My mouth went dry. Someone _was_ in there with him.

"Anakin is just so--"

Someone he was talking to about me!

Obi-Wan sighed. I could almost hear him sink further in the tub. "I just don't think I was meant to raise him, Master. That he's capable of such... such..." Obi-Wan trailed off, letting out a deep breath. "Force. I've never seen such carnage on a battle field."

Qui-Gon! He was talking to Qui-Gon.

I felt the blood drain from my face. _Only the dead talk to the dead._

I stumbled back to bed and burrowed under the covers. I hadn't meant to hear him, I hadn't, but now I had and--I blinked hard and tears ran down my cheeks. "I saved you," I hissed, pressing knuckles into my burning eyes, "saved us."

And now it didn't mean anything.


	3. Both Eyes Closed

III  
 **Both Eyes Closed**  


Jabiim. The mud, the constant rain, and the stink were enough to drive anyone mad. I would have done anything to be away from this hell, but I wouldn't have _run_ away, not for anything or anyone. Except Obi-Wan.

Fuck the reports. The AT-AT might have exploded, but he wasn't dead. Every day I saw hundreds die and every night I ran through a dozen plans to desert my remaining comrades, if only to find my Master.

I had been stationed in this death pit for just over a month's time when General Leska was killed and my convoy was ambushed. A minefield destroyed most of the men we had left. By that time, all of the elder Jedi on the planet had been killed in action, leaving a small group of Padawans behind, myself included.

I did the best I could planning the evacuation, but when the ships finally arrived there were only enough spaces for the troops. No one ever prepares you to make a decision about who lives and who dies, but I made it. I chose the Clones.

The Jabiimi natives were understandably upset, but I... 

They were trying to force their way onto the ships, nearly destroying them in the process. No one would have survived, not the Padawans, not me, not Obi-Wan. I would never have found him. I had to... I had to fight them off like I had those... creatures.

Truthfully, it was effortless. So incredibly effortless. The sickening pop was the same. Blood and innards flew everywhere. Force help me, it meant nothing to me. Somehow, it was easier this time, easier because this time Obi-Wan would never know what I needed to do to save at least some of these people.

But none of it really mattered. With Obi-Wan gone, there was no point. I wondered why I was saving anyone at all.

 

+++

 

"You must let him go, Padawan Skywalker." 

I clenched my jaw, rolling my eyes toward Ki-Adi-Mundi. I was tired of listening to someone who barely knew me, much less even liked me. I remembered well enough that he had never really supported my training, and yet there he was, stepping into my Master's place.

"I can feel him there, I _know_ he's still..." I trailed off. It was true. I had no idea what state Obi-Wan was in, but I knew that he was still alive, somewhere. Even so, I knew a glazed expression when I saw one.

"You are mistaken, youngling." The word rolled off his tongue as easily as any other, and accomplished what Ki-Adi-Mundi had hoped. I shut up instantly, but anger still rolled beneath my skin.

I jerked my blanket higher, turning away. I couldn't wait for this mission to be over. If I couldn't be trained by Obi-Wan, I did not want to be a Jedi. I planned to resign as soon as I returned to Coruscant.

The transmission came before I could. A Jedi had freed the prisoners on Rattatak. It could only be one man.

I left Ki-Adi-Mundi before he even woke. 

 

+++

 

It was too late.

"Wake up, damn you! Don't you leave me now!" 

Obi-Wan lolled limp in my arms. I pounded on his chest, but it was no use. His eyes remained rolled back in his head, seeing nothing. No air escaped his blood-splattered lips. His broken and battered body had simply given up. I swore in that instant that I would kill Ventress myself, but first I--first I had to--

_I knew what I had to do, even if he hated me for it forever._

I closed my eyes, and the sounds of battle faded away. As always the Force was there. It always had been, even when I had slaughtered those creatures, when I had killed the Jabiimi where they stood. The Force made no distinctions. It wanted only to be of use. 

Softly, so softly, I urged the Force to stroke Obi-Wan's heart, but he remained pale and still. I gripped invisible fingers tighter, hard enough that I risked crushing the muscle I wished to restart. But what was a little risk when he was already dead?

All at once, blood and spittle burst from his mouth. Obi-Wan went rigid, his body jackknifing upward, his coughing shaking us both. After a long breath, he clung to me, head pressed into my breastbone.

"Where..." 

"Shhh. Just... " It was my turn to cling. I wept like a baby.

 

+++

 

"You did _what?_ " Obi-Wan made no attempt to hide the revulsion in his voice.

I swallowed, trying to explain as best I could. "That... thing. Only this time I used it to restart your heart."

He sat heavily on the hospital bed, face whitening. A trembling hand still swathed in bandages lifted and absently massaged the place where the Force had danced within him. 

I dared a step forward to touch his face. "I saved you."

"Next time..." He paused, body shaking. "Next time..."

It was my turn to blanch. I knew what he was going to say, that he preferred to be dead rather than have my power inside him. I started to pull back my hand.

His fingers closed around my wrist. He pressed my palm deeper into his beard, grown long in his captivity. We stayed that way for some time, his eyes squeezed shut, my throat working as I struggled for words.

"Master, I never asked for this--I never--"

Obi-Wan dragged me into his arms. "I'm _trying_ , Anakin."

I stiffened against him, waiting for him to finish. _Do or do not,_ Yoda had said many times. _There is no try._

"Thank you," he whispered against my hair, arms tightening.

I gripped his hospital gown in my fist, nodding. Everything churning within me grew quiet and still. My shoulders slumped.

"Thank you," he murmured again, but I barely heard him. Obi-Wan's arms were around me, accepting.

For the first time in months, I truly slept.


End file.
